I can’t get my self esteem back up

I’ve been struggling with relationship anxiety for months and can’t, CANT get my self esteem back up I’ve been going to therapy since before this but I honestly can’t get back up on my feet And I feel like self love practices are fake I’ve tried journaling, having some time to myself, focusing on work, treating and dating myself, dressing up But honestly even the smallest things set me off, specially comments from my bf (which ojectively arent harmful or aimed at me)

I don’t even want to talk to him about it

I just wanna be fine for myself by my own efforts and not be so dependent

Help, I’m so tired of being so low

I hate my face without makeup, I hate my small boobs, I hate my awkwardness, I don’t feel sexy, I don’t feel like an attractive person, i hate the way I looks and dress if I see myself from a different perspective (photos, mirrors, etc)