She just needs to throw an insult in, no matter what it is

I was a dancer my entire life, and my mom was a classic Dance Mom. Now I am in my mid 30s, LC, and I have started dancing again at a local little studio nearby. My partner drives me and picks me back up, it's just a basic one hour class. We warm up, we do some choreography, we record ourselves, and it's been amazing getting back into it. It's nothing overly fancy or official, which I personally enjoy, because I haven't danced in 10+ years, so it's really nice going through my memory, oh yeah I remember this position, etc.

I grabbed my old dance bag when I first started again, but most of my shoes are OLD and some have holes in them lol. Since I am out of practice, my feet aren't good enough to be in bare feet (or at least, I don't feel comfortable enough to go immediately into bare feet again) and so I have just been wearing tiny, thin little ankle socks. This seems to be very common and almost everyone has also been wearing those.

It's very fun and a new thing for me to record ourselves at the end of class. That was never a possibility for me growing up, and it's awesome having a few copies of our dance to watch. I can see where I went wrong, I can see where I slayed it, sometimes see my friends from class as well, and more! I started sending the videos to my mother because she was very interested in this and wanted to see what kind of stuff I left behind.

As a Dance Mom, I thought that she would tear me apart in one way or another. Your toes aren't pointed enough, where's your pull up? Why are you looking in that direction? Instead, she focused on the socks:

"How can you dance in those?"

"You look great if you would just take those fucking socks off!"

"Do any of you own dance shoes? I thought you were all dancers!"

"I just cannot get past these socks."

"The socks just ruin the entire look!"

"Your outfit is good, the socks not so much!"

...The entire look. We are all just a bunch of dancers in leotards, body suits, booty shorts. It's just a class, not a recital - we're all makeup free, sweaty af, rolling around on the floor. Some wear fishnets or pull up stockings. I am NOT the only person who is wearing some basic ass, plain white ankle socks. I like them because they are thin enough that I am close to being in bare feet, but my feet are still not strong enough to be in bare feet. I will do bare feet occasionally, but I genuinely just prefer these ankle socks.

So, for the first few times, I would give her basic responses to the sock comments. "Idk, everybody else is wearing them as you can see" "I don't know what to tell you" "I like the socks" "You're the only person who comments on the socks" "I don't know why you're so bothered by the socks" "Maybe try to focus on the dancing instead of the socks"

I finally said to her: "I don't know what to tell you, honestly. Any time I send you a dance video your first comment is on the socks. You are truly the only person who has ever made a comment on them. Seeing the other dancers in class wearing them as well tells me that this is nothing out of the ordinary or abnormal, but for some reason that's all you can focus on. I'm so sorry that these socks bother you so much."

It always turns into the classic narc "I was just joking, OH MY GOD!!!! Why are you so sensitive and take everything so personally?!?!!" Hmmmm, maybe because that's literally the only comment you've ever made on these dance videos?! I have gotten so many nice comments when i post online: one of the nicest ones was an old dance pal from when I was growing up - she commented saying she can see on my face just how happy I am and how much I am enjoying dancing again. And she's right! It was such a nice comment that I cannot forget because it was just so genuinely nice and true. I have stopped sending my mother any dance videos. If I post it online, she will like it and not comment because it is public, and she would never roast me in public.

Over the holidays, my dad asked to see some dance videos. Everybody in the video had socks on. Before we even started, my mom said, "it's all about these ugly ass socks! Pay attention to those!!!" I ignored her as though I hadn't even heard the comment, and my father also ignored her. I've just completely stopped sending her any videos and left them online for her to see herself, rage over the socks, and I don't need to hear anything about it.

My mother is angry that I have found a happy place to go to and enjoy myself. Since I have danced forever, I know what I am doing and she can't just throw out "what an ugly pirouette that was!" because she knows it was done properly. Instead, all she has left is to insult my clothing... my tiny little white ankle socks.

My MIL comes with her own issues, but she was also a Dance Mom. I mentioned the sock thing to her and she was so confused. Isn't my mother just happy that I am dancing again? Doesn't it make my mom happy to see these videos? Why do the socks bother her, she's not the one dancing? She can see that I am fine wearing them, it's not like I'm falling on my ass or slipping and sliding - so why does she want me to take those socks off so badly?

Again, I really don't know other than it is upsetting the fuck out of my mother to see how much I am enjoying myself. She is not happy to know that I am dancing again and having a good time with it. Maybe she is upset to know that I am get to a dance class without her. She just needs to make sure she's throwing an insult in one way or another. All over some white ankle socks lol.