I have a thing for my cousin's husband

So, It just hit me that this app is anonymous and I would never admit this in person so here goes... My cousin's husband is the finest man to walk this earth. Not even because he has an extraordinary physique or anything. It's his brain. His wit. He randomly quotes shakespeare and Nelson Mandela and the classics like Gatsby. He's teaching in some university in Johannesburg but he's just in Kenya for the holidays. I swear to god I could listen to that man speak for hours. (Among other things) He's so gentle with my cousin too. Small small things. Like when she whispers in his ear he places his hand on the small of her back. And when she was called to the kitchen to sit with us he wanted to steal her away he just pointed at his ring and she knew what was up. Then when you tell her how cute her jewellery is she'll almost always say he got it for her. And they travel the world togetherrr😩. And you know how you have to beg a man to pose for a picture, they do the most romantic poses in the history of ever I swear.

The first time I saw him I was praying that we were not related. Then it turns out we're technically related through my cousin. Anyways, I'm like this with a lot of men I can't have. It's in the fantasy. If he was to hit on me today, I would turn him down but in my head I have turned that man inside out. Like I know he's flawed like any other person but I don't want to find out what his flaws are. Also being the other woman gives me the biggest ick in the world. Home-wrecking?Ew. My cousin is a lucky girl. She's given me hope.I think it's time for me to buy my grapes😭