Do you got recommendations how to get near a normal Sexlife?

My Wife was diagnosed with Lichen a couple of years ago, since then we never fully recovered from this and sex was a long time a complicated topic. I accept that normal sex is not possible most of the time, but I got the feeling she is so taken up by it that she isn’t capable of other things because she feels pain in that moment or is ashamed. I can’t help her feel that way and at first it was so bad that she was aggressive towards me and she took my needs as a burden and did not take them seriously because as a man I would need far too much sex. Now we talked about other forms of pleasure but it hasn’t changed much, I feel so desperate and don’t know what to do except of distract me until my feelings get so overwhelming again…