Quick reviews of 16 Zoologist fragrances
I recently went on a sampling spree from the house and was able to test out 16 scents. Here are my thoughts. For the record I am a 35yo male.
King Cobra - The weirdest one for sure. It does actually bring to mind how I think the scales on a venomous snake would smell. It's animalic in the sense that it's how you'd think a snake's sweaty ass would smell like, and the overload of spices brings to mind toxicity. It's a highly intriguing scent that I don't know what occasion would suit it, the first thing that comes to mind is that it's a fragrance for punks with taste. Really great, artistic stuff. In terms of levels of creativity, this is a top 3. Performance is 7/10
Harvest Mouse - A really soft, calm fragrance that's mostly vanilla with little hints of warm straw, dried, spilled beer, and the wood it dried on. I absolutely love this stuff. It's not that complex, a very easy wear and would definitely be a crowd pleaser. Nothing animalic to say here, maybe a tiny touch of that smell of mice, but I think that comes from the hay note/their nesting habits in barns. You could honestly wear this year round, in almost any occasion. You may want something a little louder if you're going out dancing or clubbing though, it's a really quiet fragrance. Performance is 6/10
Squid - This one is a future bottle purchase for me. I think we've all heard about how great Squid is, I find the ambergris note is so addictive, it smells like a greasy chunk of ambergris that's been floating under the sun for decades and the top layers have been shaved off. To me this is mostly a dark, inky ambergris fragrance and it succeeds massively. The ink note is really interesting as it does really conjure up thoughts of the ocean depths. Not the DEEP ocean, there is definitely still light. If this fragrance were a colour it would be a dark, dark blue, as opposed to the black of the depths. Performance is 8/10
Moth - Really complex and highly specific. Smells like a spicy, dusty, woody floral. There are lots of everything in this, and it's remarkable how the whole thing comes together to be something so evocative. Reminds me of mothballs and old tweed jackets in wardrobes, and there's an old ass canister of popourri scattered on the wardrobe floor. I gave my sample to a friend who I knew would appreciate it and he's apparently going to buy a bottle, he loves it so much. Performance is 8/10
Cow - Fairly simplistic and straightforward, it's highly feminine and I definitely couldn't pull it off but I gave it to a friend who loves it. It's fruity, airy, slightly creamy. Smells nothing like a cow, but moreso the field AWAY from the cows, kind of giving me lowland pastures with apple trees by a river. Very pleasant, very safe, but somehow not really all that boring. Performance is 4/10
Bee - Definitely the sweetest of the samples I have. It's sickly in the sense that you may be reminded that honey is a regurgitation. I find it's not a thick honey either. This is what I imagine the inside of a beehive smells like - the honey but with the scent of the actual bees providing this slightly pungent earthy note. This I think would be a crowd pleaser, but that slight bit of pungency coming from the smell of the bees bodies could turn people off. I personally think it's very unique and I've heard people call this a slightly animalic fragrance, but it makes it stand out from other honeys. This is for sure a year round scent. Performance is 8/10.
Panda - Adore Panda to bits. It's tea but approached VERY differently than Elephant (more below), but this one is on the sweeter side. I do find this one has a much more mass appeal to it, it's slightly animalic but the sweetness of the fruits present give the whole thing a lot of punch and smoothes out the civet. It smells somewhat generic though. I'm not going to be purchasing this one just because I think it has hints of things I've smelled before. This could change. Performance is a 6/10.
Sacred Scarab - This one surprised me. It's fairly feminine but I find I can rock it quite well, longevity is great and the wafts you get throughout the day make wearing this that much better. Potentially the most complex Zoologist, and takes spot number 2 for "Zoologists I did a complete 180 on", I hated this at first. I found it really boring, old fashioned, almost grandmotherly. But sit with this. Really get into it. It has a lot going on, it's bright and sparkly, it's ambery, it's musty, it's dusty, it's earthy. I don't get a lot of animalic notes here despite the civet being present. Potentially a bottle purchased coming up. Performance is 8/10.
Camel - As of writing, this is my least favourite Zoologist. The dried fruits go away very quickly and I'm left with a fairly empty incense and an unsupported animalic, all which doesn't last very long on skin. This one may need a few weeks in the sample bottle. Performance is 4/10
Civet - A pleasant mixture. It's a little too feminine to me and unlike Sacred Scarab it's not something I think suits me. Was expecting more civet, but it's a very wearable and beautiful fragrance. Just didn't really stand out to me. Performance is 7/10
Bat - This is the one that I WANT to keep smelling but don't want to waste the sprays. The most challenging Zoologist for me. It's so accurate to how I think a bat cave would smell, with the soil, fruits, and pissy smell being trapped by the rock walls. It opens very animalic and gradually dies down to be more mineral and fruity. Performance is 7/10
Musk Deer - My first true Zoologist love. I am definitely buying a bottle of this. The fuzziest musk with patchouli, and a beautiful cardamom and rose opening. I find this to be a true unisex fragrance. When I first smelled this, I didn't like it because it smelled almost exactly like the patchouli that Lush uses. However I used it more and more and it changed for me. Now it's my second favourite Zoologist. Performance is 8/10
T Rex - I shockingly find this to be quite an older feminine fragrance, I know. The florals are a little overdone, but I do love the burning woods thing it has going on. I just wish it smelled a little less like potpourri. But I do find it challenging and rewarding, and I think I still have more discovery to make with it. Performance is 8/10
Rhinoceros - My second least favourite. I find there is a note that adds a sense of emptiness to either the whiskey or tobacco, and because of that I don't find it to be well balanced. It's hyper masculine in a way that is so raw, but doesn't offer much beyond its punch in the face. Performance is 8/10
Tiger - A very dull, generic fragrance. I'm not the biggest fan of vetiver and this is essentially what this is. I think it would smell great on others, but there's just not a whole lot here for me. It sits kind of quiet to your skin too, which I found strange. Performance is 5/10
Elephant - Here we go. My true love. If Musk Deer was my first love, I left it for Elephant. I HATED this when I first smelled it, challenging doesn't come close. The green-ness is honestly offensive when you're not ready for that opening. But the way it opens up and stays with you... It starts as the most aggressively green fragrance I've ever smelled. I used to hate green. I think I still do. But this isn't just green, it's so photorealistic that I can picture exactly the leaves being stripped from a branch. For the gardeners out there, it smells like the inside of a healthy plant/flower stem, but with added shit ton of darjeeling tea. Then the coconut comes in. Then the amber, musk, and finally cocoa. Thinking about Elephant even makes me happy. This very well may be my favourite fragrance, ever. I bought a full bottle. Performance is 7/10
Ranking them:
- Elephant
- Musk Deer
- Squid
- Sacred Scarab
- Harvest Mouse
- Bat
- King Cobra
- Panda
- Moth
- T Rex
- Civet
- Bee
- Cow
- Tiger
- Rhinoceros
- Camel
Overall, This is now my favourite house. I love 85% of everything I have smelled and I can't wait to get my hands on Penguin, Hyrax, and Sloth. Keep in mind, everything from Cow and up I really think are great. The top ten I would love to own bottles of, and the top 5 I am definitely going to at some point. Already have Elephant!