Manic episodes change who you are

I always reflect back to a manic episode I had and it’s actually insane to me how different of a person I was while manic. The things I did while manic were things I didn’t care about at all when I was normal.

It is actually insane to me how bipolar can make a person do things completely out of character. I’ve heard stories and experienced how bipolar can make you do things your morals don’t align with.

Mania changed my behaviour for a month, but after the episode, it changed who I was. Every manic episode I’ve had has changed who I am. I’m trying everyday to be a better person but it gets harder and harder to live with the things I did while manic. I really wanted to end it all but the thing that stops me is the people on my life who will never recover if I ever ended it so I just have to live with my manic wrong doings.