I'm ugly (it is what it is) F30

Those marks on my face are from me. I was diagnosed this year with BPD and it makes sense. I had an abnormal childhood and remember always feeling the need to be "pretty". In highschool I would wakeup at 5am just to do my hair and makeup. As I've gotten older I realized that life is just a stupid beauty contest. I try to tell myself "you're beautifu"l in the mirror but I hear another voice laughing at me. I quite literally call myself trash.

Those marks on my face are from me. I was diagnosed this year with BPD and it makes sense. I had an abnormal childhood and remember always feeling the need to be "pretty". In highschool I would wakeup at 5am just to do my hair and makeup. As I've gotten older I realized that life is just a stupid beauty contest. I try to tell myself "you're beautifu"l in the mirror but I hear another voice laughing at me. I quite literally call myself trash.