How do you cope when you're mother passed away? I am only child.

Title say it all. I am an only child. Mom passed away last Sept 2. This year. Na diagnosed syang may cervical cancer stage 3b last January. Pero November palang may signs na like heavy bleeding kahit menopause na si Mama.

Kami nalang ngayon ni Papa ang natitira. Papa is already in his senior and I am f21. I am the breadwinner of the family since 2021.

Parang habang nadadagdagan yung araw, pabigat nang pabigat. I don't know how to live without my Mom. I don't even know how to choose my sizes because it's my Mom who's buying me all of my stuff. Even our papers, some of them, I don't know kung nasaan nakalagay. ::((

I am literally her baby. Their baby. Work, gym, tulog, gala ang gawa ko.

Pero ngayong kami nalang ni Papa, para akong malulunod sa araw araw. Nalulunod sa kalungkutan. Araw araw ako naiyak. Sakit sa dibdib. Hindi ko maimagine na wala na talaga si Mama for good. Thinking na I cannot hug her anymore, in this lifetime. She will not see me physically na ikasal, magkaanak. Sobrang sakit.

To think na ngayon lang kami nakaka angat angat sa buhay. Kakastart lang din namin maka luwag luwag. Dahil dati hirap din talaga kami financially. Ngayong umuokay okay na kami financially (Praise God! All Credits to Him!) Doon sya na diagnosed na may cervical cancer stage 3b, pero super grateful kami Kay Lord kasi sakto talaga. Na provide lahat ng needs ni Mama.

And now, yes, we're all back to normal. Napasok na rin ako sa work right after ilibing ni Mama. Pero parang hindi na sha normal sa akin. Parang may malaking hole sa pagkatao ko na hindi ko alam kung hihilom pa.

I really love my Mom. And so my dad. Pero super close kami ni Mama. Bff kami nun eh.

Tapos 'di pa namin close mga relatives namin sa mother side, kahit compound lang kami. Hahahaha. Planning to buy our house and lot real soon. Pag nakaipon na.

Hay. I just don't know how.

Pero alam nyo ba madalas ko napapanaginipan si Mama. Pero twice na ako nag ka panaginip sakanya na aware ako na patay na sya pero buhay pa pala sya ganun hahahahah idk why

I miss you, Ma. Love you so much!

::((