Finally able to move on.... or can I?

Hey guys,

So today I finally got closure from an open call I did months ago and a self-tape I submitted for a big network series. This specific role status was updated to say 'CAST'. The company also included a message thanking everyone who submitted and that they've seen them all. At first, I was overjoyed to finally move on and start my journey the authentic way (getting experience and doing small stuff first).

But just now, It started to hit me on how much of my daily routine this experience took up. Whether it was constantly refreshing emails and clicking the 'CHECK' status, it tore me up inside. It's even more embarrassing that after the one self-tape, I didn't get recalled or hear back from this company for months (which is 100% on me for not trying my best... not being petty here) It's also tearing me up that I'll most likely never know what they thought of my self-tape.

I genuinely thought this could of been a great start for me, especially of a role of this caliber. It just broke me man..... I'm embarrassed of what this call did to me.