10 Years to Long?

I'm new here and heave been silently lurking & putting off making this post because I'm pretty sure I already know the type of responses I'll get. I (30F) have been with my boyfriend (33M) for 10 years in July. I want a family of my own so badly, and getting married beforehand is not a deal breaker, but I would love to atleast be engaged before having a baby. I love my boyfriend and he loves me too, no doubt about it. We've truly seen each other through the best of times and worst of times, supported each other and endured every type of situation imaginable. So I can't help but to feel selfish that I would consider leaving just because a proposal hasn't happened.

We got an apartment together during year 2 of our relationship and have lived together since then. He's really close with my family, they love him and consider him to be part of the family already. I am the oldest sibling and oldest cousin/niece, so I'm constantly reminded that "we're next" and asked when we are getting married/having a baby. I want him to ask so we can buy a house and get started on our family. He says that he really wants these things and I've made it very clear what my intentions are regarding marriage.

About 4 years ago my younger (more immature) male cousin proposed to his girlfriend whom I'm close with and it added insult to injury. Again, I brought up my desire to be married. His best friend proposed to a woman he's been dating for 5 years, and I couldn't even bring myself to go to the celebration dinner, he went alone. Since initially bringing it up years ago I've gotten reasons like "I didn't know you cared that much about being married", "I'm not where I want to be", "after we start our business", and "we can after we move back into our own place." At this point, we've started a business and moved into a new apartment (thanks to me). Last year, he said to give him a year and he would make it happen and I told him I would hold him to it. Our 10 yr anniversary is happening in July and he's not purchased a ring, we have not gone ring shopping or to look, we haven't discussed my ideal proposal or marriage, etc. When I bring up marriage and how nothing has happened, it's ended in an argument at times. He says I'm frustrating him because he can't make things happen overnight. When I bring up the fact we haven't looked at rings to discuss styles, he says "it's not that big of a deal, we'll go one day and get you sized and do it then." When I bring up wanting a baby, he says "you don't need to be married to have a baby let's just do it."

I wish I could be one of those women who don't care about marriage, but it's really begun to take a hit on my mental. I constantly think about it and I feel hurt that he never considered marrying me until I started bringing it up a few years ago. Recently I started feeling indifferent to everything marriage related and telling my family that I'll just be known as the "cool aunt". My mom confided in me that she was sad to hear me say that because she knows how much I want a family. I love him and I'm scared to move on because we've been together forever (it feels) and I'm not sure if I'd find someone to love me.

Like I said I'm 100% sure he's not popping the question on our anniversary. And if it happens in October before our lease ends, it will only be because I constantly begged him to do it. I'm feeling a mix of emotions about this and I'm not sure what to do. Any advice or support is appreciated.