my sexuality is a constant game of tug of war

i'm 21f. i've known i was queer since i was about five years old because my first crush was a girl and i loved her for years. i was very repressed and guilty about my queerness for awhile. i identified as bi from 12-15 years old, lesbian from 15-20 years old and have always felt unstable in and unsure of my label. i've only ever dated women and really enjoy being with women so the past few years i never really considered men. but i've been growing up and changing quite a bit in the past year, doing things i've never done before and becoming more of a "grown up" and i've realized i actually have pretty strong feelings for men. i would be genuinely happy with a man if it was a healthy and supportive relationship, same with a woman. in the past year, i've had months where i think maybe i am just a lesbian and then months where i'm like oh i'm DEFINITELY into both women and men. the thing is, i've tried to talk it out with queer friends and my bi friends tell me i just seem like a lesbian to them or am a lesbian with "bi phases" which is a mindfuck because a lesbian with bi phases probably isn't a lesbian. my lesbian friends rightfully tell me i'm definitely not a lesbian because of my desire for men. i don't even know if i'm anything at all but i've always felt more comfortable with a label. i don't know if it's time to throw labels away and just be ambiguous or if i'm always gonna be this confused. the point to me is, i'm definitely not a lesbian if i desire sex or a relationship with a man but i feel like my bi friends don't believe my attraction to men and then i become doubtful of myself. i know it doesn't matter what they think but they're bi themselves so i feel like they know the qualifications. has anyone else been through this before? and how do i become comfortable with no label?