never felt feminine enough

i am a straight girl, mostly working in a men-dominated place/organization, i am extroverted and outgoing as well, soo definitely not a shy cat one. i like to dress up in suits/hoodies and not feeling comfortable enough to wear skirts and feminine clothes. though, i still wear make up and simple accessories.

recently, i have been reassessing the demographic of my friends. most of the time, i found it easier to befriend male because i am accustomed to work together with them from my job and organization. for me, it’s harder to get female friends just simply because the nature where i work and hang out with. even most of my guy friends joke that i am one of the guys, which lowkey kinda right but at the same time, i felt pretty uncomfortable for now reason.

a result to this is that ive never felt feminine enough and that i always have to act strong as if im one of the masculine guys. however, i realize 🎀im just a girl🎀, but not feminine.

at the same time, i feel super intimidated to approach and befriend female who radiates high feminine energy because i think i am not feminine enough and im afraid they are only befriending those who are feminine as well. what i see from them is that they always use heavy make up, dress really cute in pastel/neutral colour, talks in a shy manner, and be surrounded by their other girly girls. i could never think myself in that way nor i am not too sure if i am comfortable with diverting my style to be more feminine or not.

additionally, i have dated twice and i thought by dating guys, i will grow my feminine energy but nothing happens.

though, from my above statements, i really want to be feminine and embrace my feminine energy but i don’t know if i am comfortable being a girly girl or feminine girl. i also want to befriend more girls as highkey, i am stressed as i feel some of my stories that i wanna tell are more suitable and appropriate if i talk to the same-sex friends.

i have searched guidances on how to be feminine from youtube but yk you cannot really trust online sources soo thought of asking what is femininity for yall and is there anyway that i could be more feminine/embrace my feminine energy.