Should I ask for an allowance from my husband?

I’m a bit nervous to share since I’m very uncomfortable talking about money and this is my first post here on THT. Sorry for the long post.

I 29F have been married to my husband 34M for 8 years. We have always had split finances and have never fought about money….until recently. I was making a good wage that I could live off of but I recently lost my job and make only around $1,500 per month now. He makes much more than what I make, about $3,500 per week. Obviously, it is feeling super unbalanced to me and I want us to join our finances somehow but I feel so guilty asking for more from him. He has began paying all the rent and utilities. I still pay our smaller bill which is the phone bill and I pay for my credit cards and groceries. I am having to budget every single penny that I spend, I cook all my meals at home, I don’t shop for anything unless essential, etc. He eats out at least 2-5 times per week, maybe more, constantly shops for expensive items, etc.

I have been feeling resentful towards him because he can afford to live this really comfortable life while I struggle daily and get excited when I have $1 left over my budget.

I don’t know how to navigate the conversation to express my needs in a way to make him see how unbalanced the relationship has become. I have tried bringing it up 3 times already and it always turns into a fight.

Most recently, it came up and this is what came from it: -I was saying that I can’t wait to get a good job and basically be more financially independent -He took offense to that and took it as me saying that I don’t want to be a team -I said we are unbalanced financially and he has all the power currently, so we are not really a team -He said I can always ask him for money if I need it. Since he is my husband, I should be ok with asking him for money -I refused this as an option saying that asking for money is not a solution since he would still be in control and it would still be his money, not our money

The problem is, he does pay for all of the essentials that I need, so would it be selfish to want to join finances? Am I being unreasonable because I don’t want to constantly be asking him for money? How should I bring this up to him in a constructure way?

Anyways, any advice would help. Thanks for reading❤️