Cleaning a dildo feels more gay than using one

Now let's get this out of the way real quick, I am a straight dude that is attracted to women and I love using things like dildos on a semi regular basis. I am very open about what I like as a dude and I do not feel any doubt in who I am as a man and my heterosexuality. Also, I am not at all knocking gay people or any bullshit like that, like what you like and only you know who the best you is. I feel like the act of cleaning a dildo feels more gay than actually using one. You may be thinking "using a dildo consists of putting a penis shaped object inside of you, how is that not more gay feeling than cleaning it" to that I say, if you have ever owned a sex toy, you would know that you have to be VERY thorough while cleaning it. It there's any grooves or anything like that, you basically have to scrub a penis shaped object like you're giving it the best hand job of its life. When you're just using one, in my experience I am more focused on the current moment and what is happening, I am not thinking about the fact that there is a penis shaped object inside of me at the current moment, I am just going along with whatever feels right. When you're cleaning a dildo it feels way more intimate to me because I am completely focused on being thorough with what I am doing and what I can see, all of my focus is on the actual toy that I just used. In the end none of this matters, but I thought I would share my opinion on this, I'm sure I could've worded this in a more sufficient way, but I feel like I've at least vaguely gotten my point across.