Feeling lonely and unworthy of love

36f I am married. Betrayed big time. I fell for him because he used love. I don’t know any other form of love. Now I am grieving because he betrayed me and more than anything he used loved to get me now he doesn’t need me. If he wants amazing sex he got money to buy, if he wanted attention he got money to buy sugarbabies… (he has a fav one which lasted 3 years and she got the most attention from him and exactly how he like a woman to be (big tits big ass flat stomach 10/10 compared to me 2.5/10). Hes got friends for entertainment. He is great looking guy. Doesn’t need me anymore and want me? He Never did. I finally realized. …. I am longing to be loved. I want to be genuinely loved. Thats my one last wish before I close my eyes on this earth. I am so lonely. I have surface level of friends … just a few but not ride or die. I am that person who would do anything to anyone. I just need someone… no family unfortunately. I dont work I have young children I take care of at home. Please dont tell me selflove stuff. Its really tough to be where I am in love and this is what I want. If I can love someone this much despite how cruel they were to me … I am sure someone like me exists out there that can love someone like how I love him. I want that. I am not in a position to just walk away. It hurts so bad. Its not him that hurts its the love he showed me. It hurts … I cant stop crying and begging God pls … I just want to be loved. Dont know the purpose of this post. It feels good to release it. I feel extremely lonely and tired. No one loves me, no one wants me . As soon as they use me and they are satisfied they move along. And my husband did that for 10 years and I caught him. I broken completely broken and feeling so lonely. My heart is longing to be seen and loved. Thats all.