My[23F] last relationship has absolutely fucked with my head

I was in a very emotionally abusive relationship for the past few years. I am trying to move-on from my shitty past but it so hard for me to find peace. Now that I look back I was taking so much shit from this not so worth guy.

Context for the below text from him: I belong from an upper middle class family and he was from a lower middle class background. And these were his words just cuz my father gifted me an iphone for getting placed in college.

His exact words: “did i ever say ki what does urr father pay u after u fuck him everytime? an iphone? ur mumfucks ur brother ffs”

Now that I think about it, I should have left him in that exact moment. But his manipulative ass cried and begged in front of me on his knees and I forgave him. I feel like it was my fault after all for being okay after all these visible red flags. He was literally begging his ex(his first love) to meet even when we were together. He was on bumble while being in a relationship. I have made such a fool of myself.

I don’t think I will ever be able to recover from all the trauma that he gave me neither will I be able to trust someone ever again. I hate myself for being with him after all the fuck ups he did.