4 year old - my least favorite age

My husband and I are mentally exhausted by our 4 year old daily. He is a very high energy, high needs boy. I was hoping when he turned 4 things would get slightly easier but it is just a rollercoaster everyday. He's a good kid, don't get me wrong. He knows right from wrong most of the time and is sweet when things are going well for him. Aside from that he is extremely stubborn, pushy, bossy, controlling, and right now outright defiant. We lay down firm boundaries and learn not to give in as it makes things worse long term for us but he will not relent. Some days he will throw hour long tantrum and even after the tantrum is over he will still whine about it for hours. If he has 1 tantrum the whole day can be thrown off, meaning multiple meltdowns after the smallest thing. Is this normal? I read online that it is but our baby sitter, his grandparents even his favorite aunt tells us he's a lot to handle. Does it get better? The one thing that makes it extremely difficult is that he calls our names CONSTANTLY. He would tell a story and if we are not making eye contact he gets upset and calls our name nonstop even though we tell him "I hear you I am listening", but it's never enough. His grandparents are hard of hearing so they get very anxious when he does this. He is a very talkative kid, he was like that since birth. Virgo boy if that makes sense. I just need someone to tell me it's going to get better. Everyone we meet tells me he's a bright kid and I'm proud of him but my gosh he is just overstimulating.