"I missed you queitly today"

"I missed you quietly today. So quietly that no one noticed.

I missed you as I climbed out of bed and as I brushed my teeth; when I waited at the lights on the drive into work and as I heard the rain outside my window.

I missed you as I ordered lunch and as I kicked off my shoes when I got home; as I switched off the lights and climbed into bed for the night.

I missed you without tears or noise or fanfare. But oh how I felt it.

I felt it in the morning, at lunchtime, in the evening and at night. I felt it as I woke, as I waited, as I worked. I felt it at home, on the road, in the light, in the dark, in the rain.

I felt it in every one of those moments, each one sitting heavier and heavier as the weight of me missing you kept growing and growing.

Yes, I missed you so quietly today.

But I felt it so loudly.

Poem by:

Becky Hemsley 2024"

I came across this poem over the weekend, and it just...I felt it so deeply. I've been struggling with my grief ever since saying goodbye to my 17yo dog in June, and I just feel like this poem put that grief into words, especially now as the time since when I last held him grows larger and larger. Not a single moment has passed that I haven't missed him, but I've noticed that the way that I grieve is changing. It's quiet. It's not the breaking down in tears that it was in those first few days (though I admittedly still cry almost daily)...it's just this quiet grief that I feel so freaking loudly. He had such a profound impact on my life, and I will spend the rest of my life missing him quietly. Quietly, but oh so loudly.