Working with people who dont like you

Currently, I'm a first year general surgery resident. I choose na dito mag let out ng sama ng loob and hindi sa med related na subreddit kasi gusto ko iba naman ang readers lol.

It's so hard when you are isolated from the department - let alone surgery - na kailangan always kang nagrerefer sa senior resident mo. I try to reach out pero I also cringe at the same time when I feel like I have to get their favor. I'm not the type to please people. For the longest time, I'm okay with it. I don't mind. Pero ngayon iba na eh. I'm no longer with my friends. I'm not comfortable sa kanila. Sa mga kakilala ko sa ibang dept ako humuhugot ng companionship lol

Tas slightly na hurt lang ako kasi 3 kaming 1st years. (although yung isa mid year siya pumasok so ahead siya sakin ng 6 months) yung isa pinapapasok nila parin sa OR. Tas ako hindi. As in nag sterile clothes na ako, tas ako na yung kusang pumasok sa OR kasi akala ko kulang siguro ako sa initiative. Pero di parin ako pinapasok sa OR.

I don't want to dwell with self-pity kasi marami akong kilalang nag quit sa residency dahil sa self-pity. Pero ang hirap din icomfort sarili mo tas sabihan mo sarili mo ng "It's okay." "Wala lang yan." "Hayaan mo na yan. Ga-graduate lang din sila"

Im sure some of you can relate - working with people who dont even like you. Some people may have the luxury to quit or change jobs. But I can't. Aside sa training, I also need the money.

I don't know. Guess it's just a bitter pill I have to swallow.