Trigger warning topic. Urgent.

I don't know if this is allowed but I'm a bit desperate, I'm extremely su-cidal and have been planning on doing something, mental health is not taken very seriously here. I don't want to be left alone but I don't have anyone I can go to and spend a few days with that would take care of me, I don't want to go to the public mental health hospital as I've heard a lot of negative experiences and I can't afford a private hospital even after insurance. I don't know what to do I'm in a very bad place and I am planning on attempting. Doing the little things to calm myself down won't help me this is an emergency situation.