(Petty) Gift ideas for dad and stepmom

My dad and step mom have taken to asking what I want as a gift and then buying something else entirely, and quite often their actual gift is insulting in comparison. So I need help finding gifts that say “I took the time and effort to pick this out for you, and we both know it’s garbage.”

Let me start by saying that they are financially very well off and then explaining last Christmas.

Their birthdays are in late November, I live 12 hours away from them, and I see them usually once a year when I drive home for Christmas. So I gave them I both bday and Christmas gifts together.

For my dad: a nice Stetson hat from Huckberry, an Atlanta braves shacket, and nice slippers. He’s been really into hats since my grandpa died as a way to connect with him.

I got my stepmom a nice bread making book and several really nice olive oils because that’d become her thing, a nice moisturizer and serum from Sephora, and nice slippers.

Likewise, my birthday is in early December. The following is my combined birthday + Christmas. They got me a plastic avocado slicer, a 3-pack of pickled vegetables from the grocery store, and a flea market wooden sign with Bigfoot on it. Also in the bag was a Starbucks gift card with $1.23 on it.

This year, they asked what I wanted and I said a Le Creuset Dutch Oven. I sent the link to the specific one and I sent the color name. Today I accidentally discovered they ordered a nuclear orange $65 knock off on Amazon… I called my dad and asked about it. He said “we got you that because the one you wanted was $400; if you use it, we’ll get you the expensive one.”

What’d I get them for this year? I got my dad the Lego technic F1 Mercedes car, a Fahlo elephant to track a real elephant because he’s obsessed with elephants, and some nice The North Face waffle weave sweats. I got my step mom some really nice yarn for knitting and a nice crochet kit (nicer than woobles but similar concept) because she loves to knit. I’d planned to order her the Cushion Lab lumbar and seat cushions before I headed home for Christmas as well.

But now.. now im going home for a couple hours on my way to see other people who actually like me and I’m taking their gifts back for something cheaper/less unique . Then, if they use the cheap ones, maybe I’ll buy them an get an expensive gift later. Please give me your best petty ideas with this context in mind.