my boyfriend just died.

He did so much effort, he quit coke and some other shit, I was so happy for him. But he was still drinking a "little bit". And his doctor prescribed him some Xanax. I hated when he took xan. He was so strange and mean. I told it to his doctor, but he didn't do anything. He knew he had problem with alcohol. Two days ago I was at his place and I left because he took his pills to sleep. I kissed him and left, but he was unconscious. Yesterday his mother called me. He died outside in front of his door during the night. He hadn't his phone and had lost his keys. Probably drink alcohol with his xan. He just fell asleep in front of the door. I can't believe it. For me, the worse was behind. It was getting so much better. I had plans with him. I feel so alone and sad. I just want to hug him, but it's now impossible. I don't know how to handle that. Why ? I love him so much.... Please don't mix alcohol and Xanax. Even if you were a "big" user of everything else and alcohol doesn't affect you a lot.