Can someone with disorganized attachment explain their thoughts and feelings when they initiate no contact?

My partner (FA) and I (secure) have been dating on and off for about a year. Over this time, he’s broken things off between us multiple times, saying our relationship gives him too much anxiety. This always confused me because every encounter we’ve had since we met has been flawless, we have an incredible connection, one that he and I both know can never be replaced. After days-weeks apart, he always comes back, almost in a panic, saying he feels like he made a mistake and wants to pick up where we left off. I’ve always agreed because there’s genuinely no reason we shouldn’t be together. As soon as things feel like they’re starting to get back on track, usually after a couple weeks, he starts to pull away again. When I address that I can sense him distancing himself from me, he says things like, “I don’t know what to do. You’re one in a million,I know I’ll never find anyone like you again, but our relationship makes me so anxious for some reason” He tells me he loves me and that he misses me when we’re apart and then BOOM he disappears and I can’t get a hold of him. I’m really interested in hearing what might be going through his mind during no contact from the perspective of someone with disorganized or FA attachment. How do you feel when you initiate space? Are you relieved, conflicted, scared? Any insights or personal experiences to help me understand would mean a lot.