[VA] Do I have to play secretary?

I spent the last 3 years playing secretary and letting my son’s dad know about every Dr appt, bday party, preschool class party, school event, dentist appt, etc etc etc. He has shown up to one urgent care visit and one Dr appt. When we met with our GAL for a meeting this past summer, he told her I never told him what doctor or dentist our son went to. I denied that and referred to text messages but the GAL asked me to just tell him anyway so I did.

Now that he got this 50/50 that he so suddenly desired, do I still have to do all of that? Will I get in trouble if I don’t? I sent him this text today:

• Kindly ensure that your contact information is added to the text reminders and patient portal for {child’s name} doctor’s appointments and visits. This will enable you to stay informed. Thank you *

It’s just annoying that I DID THE RIGHT THINGS just for him to be MIA and uninvolved for 2 years and now he wants 50/50 so he should have to do the work right? At the same time, I feel terrible bc my son misses out on stuff. For example, I did not remind his dad that his class had a Halloween party on X day this year. He brought him in to preschool that day completely unprepared, no costume and none of the items his teacher asked for to participate in a party activity. Thankfully, I brought that stuff with me (I worked at the preschool too) just incase his dad didn’t bring it. If I hadn’t, he would have been the only one with out a costume. His dad said it was my fault bc I didn’t communicate even though I showed him the party flyer was on the bulletin board, and the teacher posted a reminder on the log app as well as sent a class wide message reminder.

I just don’t wanna look petty if we ever get in front of a judge again but I also don’t want to see my son miss out on things because his father doesn’t pay attention to anything. The GAL said it was petty of me to not tell him when a Dr appt that HE made me reschedule was because I told him to call the Dr office and ask when the upcoming appt is. He said he never called them bc I was being childish and the GAL backed him up. Maybe it was childish but he had me cancel an annual well check bc it was scheduled on his day with our son and the GAL backed that up too and said “well he only gets X days a week and I’m sure he doesn’t wanna spend hours of that time in a Dr office” (this was a few months ago when he was still on visitation).

I just don’t know what to do but I’m tired of being walked on by this man.