I just can’t anymore..

My ex broke up with me over 2 months ago and I still cry every night. Recently, he viewed my TikTok profile on what would have been our anniversary and at first I was really excited about it… “he’s thinking about me”, “he misses me”, etc. After a few days, I realized I shouldn’t be happy over a simple profile view and he shouldn’t be able to see what I’m up to. He’s not a regular stranger. I promised myself I wouldn’t block him out of retaliation or anger, so I waited until now. I wanted to move on. After he saw I blocked him, he removed me on everything including old accounts I don’t use anymore. I think it was out of retaliation but I’m not sure. He blocked my old Pinterest account from 2020. I don’t even know the point of me typing this, I just feel so alone. All of my friends are in relationships and I was with him for almost 4 years. I miss him so much. I can’t get out of bed. I want him back. I hate him. I don’t know. Any advice would be nice :/