They use people as a coping mechanism for their state of mind

In my case it is clear. She said to me that she is sick. Drinking, dissociate, dont want to shower, depressed, cant be around people, etc. And 3! days after she found another guy.

If i watch back what i was to her its the same thing. Her 2nd hoover was "I dont know what to do help me".

Imo thats the reason why we are a "tool" for them, and they dont care about you as a person. They use you and if you "cant provide" what they want they simply throw you to the bin. You can never provide what they want because they are not stable within themselfs and anxoiusly sabotage the realitionship than run out from it while hurting you.

Im on the edge of not hating myself for that i let her do that to me.