AITA for overeacting for my "ruined" birthday

Trying to keep it short but it's a bit difficult. Sorry for english

I organized my wife milestone birthday and she had to organize mine. She said she had no clue about what to do, and suggested nothing - so I organized the day (nothing big, we have money issues). She decided that she wanted to bake a cake for me - and she choose a difficult recipe even tough she's not a very good baker and she gets very angry when she fails recipes. I told her that I didn't care about a big or difficult cake, that she could buy or make anything as long as it was made with love, but she insisted.

She spent the entire evening before my birthday baking and she got angry at every single things, and snapping at me too for anything. At first I let her be, then I asked if she wanted help or preferred not: she first got angry because she didn't want me to, then because I wasn't helping her, and then because I wasn't helping enough. I again told her to not worry and to go to sleep but she told me no. The next day the cake wasn't even ready, but she was tired bc of a overnight so I told her to sleep. Except she slept the entire day. We didn't do anything I had organized, but we didn't even spend the day together at home: I was alone in the other room, not even doing anything really bc i didn't want to wake her up. In the evening she finally wake up, and I decorated my own cake (even if I told her again it didn't matter) bc she was getting sad at it not being finished. She seemed extremely sad for "ruining my birthday", so I told her no, it wasn't, and we could reschedule. And I genuinely wasn't disappointed anymore bc we ate the cake together.

The day we rescheduled she didn't want to get up from the bed, I was even afraid it was something medical but she acted like a kid not wanting to go to school, snapping and getting angry at me for trying to wake her up. I started silently crying for the situation (i usually don't really cry but it had been two hours of her screaming at me and then going back to sleep) and then she immediately got up. She told me she had taken medicine to sleep the day before, but I was confused because of the timing of them "wearing off", as she said. It seemed instant when she saw me crying.

We went on with the day but she was very distant and snappy. I felt guilty about every activity because she didn't seem to want to be there. I even asked her we could go home with an excuse but she told me no. But it was like being alone again. At home she told me.that she was sorry for ruining even that day, but I lied and smiled saying it had been a good day.

I was talking with friends days later and one told me I was overreacting to the situation, bc I seemed very spoiled in what I wanted for my birthday and that my wife has been sick bc of me that day. I feel guilty everytime I think about the day bc really I could have just suck it up, I'm an adult and a birthday is a day like another, but I also feel extremely disappointed in what has happened. Aita?

Edit: typos